[ that's nice but it doesn't really make him feel better about all this???????? Kaios please just... keep your rock to yourself? wouldn't that be safer???????? ]
Maybe I don't want to be able to force you to do anything you don't want to do. Is there anything I can do to prevent that?
Not really. [ He sighs, then sets down his sandwich, leaning back in his chair. ]
But I'll tell you some of it. The important bits.
It's a binding curse. I'm bound to that stupid token—as long as it exists, so do I. [ And it being around in such close proximity is fucking with him, because it's a lot more difficult to be objective about this than it normally is and he hates that???? ]
I was made into this for other people to use. And a tool isn't supposed to question orders. So I can't.
Yes, I am. That's the entire reason I exist, for people to use me. Being human too doesn't change that.
[ But he shrugs and looks away. Normally he'd tell Ludger to save his apologies for someone worthy of it, but... he's not going to even try, not when it'll inevitably lead them into an endless loop of Ludger trying to convince him that he's worth more than he actually is. ]
It's fine. I've had long enough to get over it.
Besides, compared to the people who had my token before, all this has been easy.
[ after a moment, he'll sigh, and serve himself a cupful. ]
I actually made it for Thancred, Urianger, and whoever wanted any. But I could use a break.
[ he'll take a sip before replying again. ]
And I'll still take then token, if you want. You don't like having it, right? I can't say I won't be nervous handling it going forward, but- it's worth it.
[ Ludger are you just cooking everything for everyone and not only when it's mealtimes for yourself, pls
Kaios glances away, lip curling a little. He hadn't phrased it this way before, but since Ludger's figured out what the token does, there's no reason not to say it... ]
I'm not allowed to have it. The first time I tried touching it I got thrown into a wall from the backlash.
But it keeps coming back to me here, so I can put up with it if you don't want to worry about it. It's not that big a deal.
[ Another shrug. Kaios takes another bite of his sandwich, considering, then huffs as a thought hits. ]
I guess if you're that worried, you can try saying something like "don't follow any orders if you don't want to." It's dumb, but it might work.
[ It would also be kind of funny to test how far that sort of thing might reach—would it be one of those orders that persisted, or would it only last as long as Ludger has his token?
It doesn't matter much though, in the end. He's not going to make Ludger take it if it makes him uncomfortable; it's his shitty token to figure out how to break at the end of the day. ]
[ ...Ludger please. Love the energy, it's great, but— ]
I don't think it'll work if you phrase it like that. It's a pretty strict curse.
[ Which is why it's fine if he doesn't want to take the token any more! Kaios sure isn't going to force it, not when he's got so much experience of having been in that place himself. ]
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chromatized) wrote2025-11-04 10:13 pm
me checking to make sure this wasn't w1 bc haha... kemonomimi...
Except then Ludger says that. And it's minute, but Kaios stiffens slightly, immediately glancing away from everything else.
But even though Ludger doesn't realize it, it's an order while the token is in his pocket. ]
...My father sired six other children, but I've never been considered part of that family. I don't know if my mother had other children.
[ He's not touching his food yet. ]
teehee 1/2
he sees Kaios's expression. ]
2/2
Ludger reaches into his pocket, and takes out a certain stone. silently, he'll slide it to halfway between them, and retreat. ]
... I think you should probably take that back.
no subject
[ He leaves the token where it is. ]
I told you the first time: bad things start happening to anyone who gives it to me.
Some things aren't working here—my body isn't healing itself—but other things are. I'm not risking this being one of them.
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Okay. Okay, I can wait an hour for it to go back to you. I just-
[ he doesn't want to say anything that can be remotely construed as an order.
honestly, how short sighted of him - to harbor the suspicions, and do nothing with them. how foolish. he really never changed, did he? ]
... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that to you.
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[ And to prove it's fine, he picks up the sandwich Ludger gave him. Take that!! ]
If I was worried about what you'd do with it, I'd try to avoid you.
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[ that's nice but it doesn't really make him feel better about all this???????? Kaios please just... keep your rock to yourself? wouldn't that be safer???????? ]
Maybe I don't want to be able to force you to do anything you don't want to do. Is there anything I can do to prevent that?
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I didn't think about that. [ Lie. Most people start off saying something like that, but it changes over time. It always does. ]
...I don't know. It's one of the core pieces of the curse, so it's not meant to be easy to get around.
[ Hmm... ] There's no mental connection—so if I don't hear it, there's nothing to obey.
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Curse? Ah- do you want to tell me about it?
[ still hasn't quite connected that he doesn't have to make everything a question... he just has to make it not an order. ]
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But I'll tell you some of it. The important bits.
It's a binding curse. I'm bound to that stupid token—as long as it exists, so do I. [ And it being around in such close proximity is fucking with him, because it's a lot more difficult to be objective about this than it normally is and he hates that???? ]
I was made into this for other people to use. And a tool isn't supposed to question orders. So I can't.
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You're not a tool.
[ which is perhaps the dumbest and most obvious thing he could have said, but he still felt the urge. ]
...... I'm sorry this happened to you. Really.
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Yes, I am. That's the entire reason I exist, for people to use me. Being human too doesn't change that.
[ But he shrugs and looks away. Normally he'd tell Ludger to save his apologies for someone worthy of it, but... he's not going to even try, not when it'll inevitably lead them into an endless loop of Ludger trying to convince him that he's worth more than he actually is. ]
It's fine. I've had long enough to get over it.
Besides, compared to the people who had my token before, all this has been easy.
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I hope you'll understand if that doesn't reassure me.
[ sigh ]
... Do you want more soup?
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You made it for yourself, didn't you? Eat your own food first.
And I mean it—don't worry about it. If you don't want to take the token any more, I don't care, but you haven't done anything worth freaking out over.
[ So there. Kaios just goes back to his own meal—it's literally fine. Ludger's been harmless. ]
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I actually made it for Thancred, Urianger, and whoever wanted any. But I could use a break.
[ he'll take a sip before replying again. ]
And I'll still take then token, if you want. You don't like having it, right? I can't say I won't be nervous handling it going forward, but- it's worth it.
[ it's just a small thing. even he can do that. ]
no subject
Kaios glances away, lip curling a little. He hadn't phrased it this way before, but since Ludger's figured out what the token does, there's no reason not to say it... ]
I'm not allowed to have it. The first time I tried touching it I got thrown into a wall from the backlash.
But it keeps coming back to me here, so I can put up with it if you don't want to worry about it. It's not that big a deal.
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Yikes. What's even the point of that?
[ asides from being cruel ]
... I do really worry about making you do something you don't want to. I just need to adjust to the idea - don't worry.
[ he flashes a small smile at Kaios as he says it. he'll get over himself, pinky promise. ]
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I guess if you're that worried, you can try saying something like "don't follow any orders if you don't want to." It's dumb, but it might work.
[ It would also be kind of funny to test how far that sort of thing might reach—would it be one of those orders that persisted, or would it only last as long as Ludger has his token?
It doesn't matter much though, in the end. He's not going to make Ludger take it if it makes him uncomfortable; it's his shitty token to figure out how to break at the end of the day. ]
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Kaios, you shouldn't follow any orders if you don't want to listen to them.
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I don't think it'll work if you phrase it like that. It's a pretty strict curse.
[ Which is why it's fine if he doesn't want to take the token any more! Kaios sure isn't going to force it, not when he's got so much experience of having been in that place himself. ]