[ It seems like Ludger's had a very stressful time, so let's go to the relaxation nook and try to chill out for a bit! Kaios definitely gave Ludger some sharp looks earlier during the whole return debacle, especially when he seemed to want to put others' well-being before his own. Sure, Ludger maybe came out of that entire thing a bit better than many of them (Anaxagoras, for one, and at least he isn't missing any limbs), but from what Kaios could see he still had more than enough going on that needed attending to...
So the first thing he'll be doing when he finds Ludger is giving him a quick once-over. Have all his injuries been seen to? ]
[ can you imagine if Ludger just walked off in the middle of treatment. can you. so many people would tackle him and give him disappointed looks.
anyways, yes he's been tended to - though Kaios might not be able to see, as Ludger has bundled himself up in a few layers. ]
Oh, hey. Yeah, I'm- yeah.
[ he just looks tired. and conflicted. ]
... Kaios, when you were first. Cursed. Did you ever feel like there was nothing for you to do except listen to orders? Like- it was your only purpose?
[ He doesn't really think that Julius would have let him get away without treatment, but he has to check anyway. Ludger's not allowed dying here.
He's a little surprised by the question, but Kaios considers it as he takes a seat of his own... and after a moment, he shakes his head with a little snort. ]
Not when I was first cursed. Back then I thought if I could figure out a way out of it, I could... I don't know. Run away and make a new life for myself, maybe.
By the time we were all brought here, though? Yeah. I'd felt that way for a long time. Why?
[ ...this is going to be one of those conversations, huh. Kaios stretches his legs out, looking at his boots for a minute before he responds. ]
...It's not foolish.
[ It's simultaneously gotten easier and more difficult to talk about as the time has passed here, but he doesn't feel compelled to explain. He's explaining now because Ludger is asking, because he actually believes that Ludger cares to know the answer. ]
Those in our position... you have a purpose, and you know what that purpose is. It defines you, becomes the only thing you are. The people that own you don't care what you want. They don't care what you think. Your job is to shut up and do as you're meant to, because that's all they want. [ He shrugs. ] If she says her only purpose is to fulfill wishes, it's because she's been doing it for so long that it's all there's allowed to be.
Those like us... we're not allowed to be people. So you stop being one.
[ Ludger listens quietly as Kaios lays out the situation. there's some things that he can't understand - his closest comparisons are the spirits back home, and they weren't exactly like Magi or Kaios either.
but he can hear the echoes of personal history in there, so he reaches out to gently nudge Kaios. ]
...yeah. I know. I figured that out when you tried to give my token back when you figured out what it did.
A lot of you here are weird like that.
[ But it's said with a bit of lightness, something there that definitely wasn't when they first met that night in the cul-de-sac. Weird (fond), maybe. Even the people here he doesn't (or didn't) get along with—they still looked at him and saw a person. Maybe because they didn't know the truth of him or his token, but even so... ]
But if she's at the point where she's saying that's her only purpose and that she doesn't want anything... it'll take a lot to pull her out of that.
[ Kaios doesn't have emotions—it's a fact, considering everything he is. But there's something about this moment, about Ludger's comment about being stuck with "us weirdos," about Cantarella's comment he can't forget about his being "part of the group" that... huh. Maybe it's having his token near him; maybe his token is pulling the same sort of bullshit it was during the trial to find Amaya's killer, but Kaios finds he doesn't mind this nearly as much as the pulses of irritation. This "feeling," if it could be called that... it's a kind of nice one.
And Ludger may catch the corner of his mouth quirking up, not quite a smile but not not one, either. ]
I can think of worse things.
[ But anyway, back to Magi. ]
Real names have power. If we knew hers, there's a possibility we'd be able to do something with it. ...we're probably better off working on the current plans, though.
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chromatized) wrote2025-11-04 10:13 pm
w4; sometime after cyoa return
So the first thing he'll be doing when he finds Ludger is giving him a quick once-over. Have all his injuries been seen to? ]
Doing any better than earlier?
no subject
anyways, yes he's been tended to - though Kaios might not be able to see, as Ludger has bundled himself up in a few layers. ]
Oh, hey. Yeah, I'm- yeah.
[ he just looks tired. and conflicted. ]
... Kaios, when you were first. Cursed. Did you ever feel like there was nothing for you to do except listen to orders? Like- it was your only purpose?
no subject
He's a little surprised by the question, but Kaios considers it as he takes a seat of his own... and after a moment, he shakes his head with a little snort. ]
Not when I was first cursed. Back then I thought if I could figure out a way out of it, I could... I don't know. Run away and make a new life for myself, maybe.
By the time we were all brought here, though? Yeah. I'd felt that way for a long time. Why?
no subject
[ terrible!!! ]
... Magi - the wish giver. She's... kind of like that. She says her only purpose is to fulfill wishes, that she has no wants of her own.
[ ... ]
Maybe it's foolish, but I feel bad for her.
no subject
...It's not foolish.
[ It's simultaneously gotten easier and more difficult to talk about as the time has passed here, but he doesn't feel compelled to explain. He's explaining now because Ludger is asking, because he actually believes that Ludger cares to know the answer. ]
Those in our position... you have a purpose, and you know what that purpose is. It defines you, becomes the only thing you are. The people that own you don't care what you want. They don't care what you think. Your job is to shut up and do as you're meant to, because that's all they want. [ He shrugs. ] If she says her only purpose is to fulfill wishes, it's because she's been doing it for so long that it's all there's allowed to be.
Those like us... we're not allowed to be people. So you stop being one.
no subject
but he can hear the echoes of personal history in there, so he reaches out to gently nudge Kaios. ]
You're pretty "people" to me. You always will be.
no subject
A lot of you here are weird like that.
[ But it's said with a bit of lightness, something there that definitely wasn't when they first met that night in the cul-de-sac. Weird (fond), maybe. Even the people here he doesn't (or didn't) get along with—they still looked at him and saw a person. Maybe because they didn't know the truth of him or his token, but even so... ]
But if she's at the point where she's saying that's her only purpose and that she doesn't want anything... it'll take a lot to pull her out of that.
Is Magi her real name?
no subject
Yeah, and you're stuck with us weirdos.
[ :') it's fine. the subject change makes the grin drop, his expression turning thoughtful. ]
As far as I know, yeah. I guess there's Wish Giver, but that seems more like a title than her name... And, well. She does want to feed on souls.
[ is that a promising sign? it doesn't feel like a promising sign to him. ]
no subject
And Ludger may catch the corner of his mouth quirking up, not quite a smile but not not one, either. ]
I can think of worse things.
[ But anyway, back to Magi. ]
Real names have power. If we knew hers, there's a possibility we'd be able to do something with it. ...we're probably better off working on the current plans, though.